FANTASY DISAPPOINTMENTS

December 28th, 2005 4:00 PM ET

Maybe by the time you got to Best Buy they were sold out of the widescreen edition of American Pie: Band Camp. Maybe some shlub cleaned out the free taco bar at happy hour within five minutes of them bringing out the food. Maybe you purchased the new Eminem compilation only to find that gravity in fact didn't go anywhere.

Yes, there are many reasons for disappointment. But when it comes to fantasy football, there's nothing more disappointing than watching your stud lay a gigantic egg for your squad. These lollygaggers need to be called out and humiliated appropriately… and we're just the folks to do so.

Quarterback
Brett Favre, Packers: It's heresy in America's Dairyland, but one look at Favre's stats—or the sad, sad face of a Favre fantasy owner—leaves no doubt he's on the downslope. Did you ever think you'd see the day this future Hall-of-Famer would rank below the likes of Kyle Boller, Trent Dilfer, and Brooks Bollinger in passer rating? That day has come. Favre has thrown more picks this year than Kerry Collins and Drew Bledsoe combined. If you're in a league that takes away points for interceptions, Favre has absolutely killed you this year. Granted, he's had no help from anyone else on the Packer roster, but if you were banking on No. 4 to help your fantasy squad you likely played for a porcelain trophy this year.

Dishonorable mention goes to Daunte Culpepper (Vikings), who had gone from the second quarterback selected in most drafts to virtually unusable when a knee injury ended his season (and put his fantasy owners out of their misery); Trent Green (Chiefs), who started slowly and didn't do enough to redeem said early struggles with just 16 touchdowns in 15 games; and David Carr (Texans), who was supposed to take the next step along with his squad but instead looked a whole lot like the next Ryan Leaf or Tim Couch with just 14 touchdowns and 2,465 yards through 15 games.

Running Back
Willis McGahee, Bills: Some had McGahee ranked higher than others heading into the season, but just about every draft saw Willis go off the board before the end of round one. He was only mildly disappointing over the first couple months of the season, but he's done absolutely nothing since Halloween. Only one of his five meager touchdowns and none of his four 100-yard games have come in the past seven contests, killing any playoff aspirations of those with Willis in their starting fantasy lineup.

Jamal Lewis, Ravens: While folks weren't quite as giddy about Jamal's prospects after spending his offseason in prison, the general consensus was that he'd be somewhere between his awesome 2003 and his mediocre 2004. Instead, Lewis has posted his worst pro season on those who were looking for a bounceback campaign, and what little production he has offered came after such a horrendous dry spell that he likely wasn't in anyone's fantasy lineup when he did finally produce. Lewis is a free agent following this season; whether the Ravens bring him back is anyone's guess, but it's almost certain those who had Jamal on their fantasy team this year won't touch him with a 10-foot pole in 2006.

Dishonorable mention goes to Julius Jones (Cowboys), who like Jamal was so bad for so long that when he finally did something positive, his fantasy owners had relegated him to the bench and thus didn't get any benefit; Kevin Jones (Lions), who flashed so much promise late last season but was a non-factor for much of 2005; and Chris Brown (Titans), who actually stayed healthy for most of the season but couldn't muster so much as one 100-yard rushing game on the year.

Wide Receiver
Randy Moss, Raiders: Moss missed Minnesota almost as much as the Vikings' offense missed their playmaker; evidently the preseason posturing about Kerry Collins being a better quarterback than Daunte Culpepper was a little off the mark. Yes, Moss was hobbled by injuries for a large portion of 2005, but those who risked a first-round pick on him had to feel like he'd dropped trou on them personally. When you have fewer touchdowns than Joe Jurevicius and less yardage than Eddie Kennison, you know it's been a bad year.

Joe Horn, Saints: Where does one begin with Horn's utterly craptastic 2005 campaign? His final digits will represent his worst showing of the millennium, and he hasn't done a darn thing fantasy-wise since his lone touchdown and solitary 100-yard game back in week two. Those banking on the consistency that one was Horn's hallmark (he averaged 1,250 yards and nine touchdowns over the past five seasons) instead had their scalp ripped off, their skull cracked open, and a whole load of waste dumped on their brain. And that's the nicest thing we can find to say about Horn.

Dishonorable mention goes to Terrell Owens (Eagles), who made it four straight seasons without making it to the end of the year (though anyone who didn't see this blowup coming clearly hasn't seen What About Bob? enough times) and hasn't scored a touchdown after December 15 since 2001; Nate Burleson (Vikings), who claimed the Vikings would have a different leading receiver each week, then made that a self-fulfilling prophecy by failing to live up to the expectations he set last season; Javon Walker (Packers), who paid the price for threatening a hold out (karma can be a real bugger, can't she?); and Andre Johnson (Texans), whose deep presence was negated by a quarterback who had to throw the ball almost as soon as he took the snap.

Tight End
Tony Gonzalez, Chiefs: For most tight ends, 846 yards constitutes two, maybe three years of work; for Gonzo, it's a bit of a downer made even more difficult to swallow by his two—two!—measly touchdowns. Gonzalez surrendered his crown as best fantasy tight end to Antonio Gates without a fight, and the former franchise tight end—undoubtedly the first or second player at his position taken in your draft—has been outscored by, among others, Steve Heiden, Bryan Fletcher, and David Martin.

Dishonorable mention goes to Bubba Franks (Packers), whose days as Brett Favre's red zone security blanket ended suddenly; Dallas Clark (Colts), who failed to get his share of the Colts' offensive pie, ceding catches to the aforementioned Fletcher as well as backup Ben Utecht; and L.J. Smith (Eagles), who delivered on his potential for the first month of the season but folded like a road map down the stretch, even when he had every opportunity to step up and be Philly's passing-game playmaker.

Kicker
Adam Vinatieri, Patriots: If you need a clutch kick made, Vinny's still your guy. But the two-time Super Bowl hero, who was undoubtedly drafted in every league, has produced a clunker of a season. He'll have to hustle this week just to crack triple-digits on the season, and barring an NFL record-setting Sunday he'll finish with a career low in field goals. The list of guys with more treys than Vinny sounds like a who's who of drive thru order-takers: Rob Bironas, Robbie Gould, Joe Nedney, Phil Dawson, Olindo Mare… yeah, it's been that bad.

Dishonorable mention goes to Ryan Longwell (Packers), another booter with a long-standing track record who has dramatically underachieved this season; Sebastian Janikowski (Raiders), who was supposed to ride the coattails of the new and improved Raiders offense to mega points but instead has missed a third of his field goal attempts; and Mike Nugent (Jets), the rookie booter who was going to set New York on its ear but instead has managed just 78 points for the woeful Gang Green.

 

Defense
New England Patriots: They didn't have Tedy Bruschi and/or Richard Seymour and/or Rodney Harrison for chunks of the season, and as a result the two-time defending champions didn't make nearly the number of plays we've grown accustomed to. New England scored just two defensive touchdowns, generated only 18 turnovers, and sacked opposing quarterbacks 30 times. Maybe we're spoiled, but we're used to better numbers.

Dishonorable mention goes to the Baltimore Ravens, who like the Patriots were ravaged by injury and failed to deliver the sort of numbers we'd come to expect; the Dallas Cowboys, who had more horse-collar tackles (at least one per game; weren't they supposed to call that this year?) than defensive touchdowns (two); and the Buffalo Bills, who rolled over for most of the season before flashing a glimpse of what could have been in week 16's win over the Bengals.

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